good morning world

Here I sit relishing in the quiet (well somewhat with husbands snoring) house at 536am. Yes I should be sleeping but am wide awake.The wonderful sound of my sleeping children and not so wonderful sound of my sleeping husband have me in awe of all that has come to pass in my life. Do you ever have one of those moments when you stop and go WOW at your life.

In my life I have had so much loss, yet so much happiness, and I have truly come to understand that you need both in your life. You never know what you have till its gone is a very true statement, but if we never loss anyone or anything we could never grow and learn from it.

Tomorrow will be 4 years since I loss my Mom to heart disease, I miss her like crazy, but also know that she is in a better place with no pain and suffering and that though hard to see at times through the pain of losing her, I too am in a better place. How could I say that, well those of you who knew Mom knew she was a difficult Mom, though I always loved her. When she got ill though her and I were able to take our relationship to a whole new level that I never thought possible. We were close really close, we shared in things that I never thought possible and we were able to find true peace in our relationship and that is an amazingly awsome thing!!! I learned from her in the end there what true unconditional love is and I learned from her how the love for your children and grandchildren can defy all medicne and science, another amazing lessson. I watched her draw strength from her granddaughters and defy all odds to stay alive for them for two additional years, so a lesson in strength, love and faith.

Thru the past few years I have lost and gained friends (not thru death). While its sad to say you have lost friends there are times it is for the best that you do. When we are young we look at our friends as a social rung on a ladder to social success..one I never chose to climb. I had a few close friends that I thought would last a lifetime and a few have. Some have taught me hard lessons in what not to do in friendship and have unfortunately taught me to be not so trusting in giving multiple chances again in the future. This saddens me as I have always been taught to turn the other cheek and to give people another chance only to have it trhown in my face. This has really bothered me for over a year now, and I have to just let it go. I have realized that some people are just not happy unless they are hurting and using others to get what they want, sad lesson learned, but learned and now I am over it.

Out of this though have come some new/old friendships. What are old/new friendships, well those are the friends that you have known for years, but never really connected to on that adult level till, well you are adults. I have hopefully reconnected and am forging some new/old friendships with people.

So where is my 530am rambling going...who knows..all I know is that I am happy with where my life is and wouldnt trade any of it for anyting in the world and I am grateful to all those who have taught me valuable lessons along the way good and bad.